17.1.14
Why
can’t I get that cute guy to notice me?
Why
do I always pick losers?
Do
guys only go for a certain type of girl?
Any of these thoughts sound
familiar? Have you ever been discouraged about the overwhelming, confusing,
sometimes downright daunting task of dating? Well, Amy Spencer knows exactly how
you feel. In her book Meeting Your
Half-Orange, the former editor for Glamour
magazine teaches readers how to turn their dating doubts and worries into
positive energy that will help them attract their “better half.”
If you think this sounds a little
hokey, don’t worry—I did too. But after reading Amy’s guide, I truly believe
that finding your half-orange is possible. And applying her techniques will
make anyone a more positive, attractive, upbeat version of themselves.
Half-orange?
What in the world is that?
Your half-orange, Amy explains,
is your other half, your “ideal partner, the person you’re meant to share your
life with.” Amy learned this Argentinian phrase from her own half-orange, whom she
met within a few months of applying the methods she suggests.
I know, some of you are thinking,
“Hold on, I’m not ready to think about meeting my other half right now. I just
want to have fun.” That’s ok! The techniques that Amy teaches in her book will
help anyone be more confident, happy, and optimistic, no matter what stage of your
dating life you’re in. And while this book focuses on attracting your soul mate,
remember that it will affect your other relationships in a positive way, too.
The
phases
So how exactly do you attract your half-orange?
1.
The
first phase, Amy says, is to believe that you can have it. You are fun enough,
smart enough, and cool enough to have an amazing relationship. So what if you
haven’t found “The One” yet? So what if all of your dates end with you going
home and eating a pint of ice cream while watching Pride and Prejudice and
wondering if your Mr. Darcy will ever show up? He will! You just have to
believe that it’s possible.
You’ve
done it in other areas of your life, right? You’ve focused on the job you
wanted to get, the test you wanted to ace, the team you wanted to be on, and
you succeeded! Focus on what you want and you will find it.
2.
Phase
two of being utterly optimistic, Amy says, is to admit that you want it. Admit
it. You want to fall in love some day with an incredibly handsome, fun, witty,
successful guy who just happens to think you’re the best thing since sliced
bread. Sure, being single can have its perks, but some day you will be ready
for the next step. And when that day comes, say it. Tell yourself you’re ready.
Tell your mom. Tell your friends. Shoot, I even told my cat. Just get it out
there so the universe knows you’re ready.
3.
Phase
three: choose your orange seed. C’mon girls, admit it…you have a list. You
know, the list: tall, dark-haired, blue eyes, amazing athlete, etc. Well, our
dating guru says to throw it out. Yep. You are starting over. Because, Amy
states, “The fact is, you don’t want a man . . . what you want is a relationship.” When you start looking at
outside factors (looks, hobbies, popularity, etc.) you get sidetracked from how
the relationship makes you feel. To help you maintain the right focus, Amy
suggests looking at other relationships that you admire and making a list of
similar things you want in your dream relationship.
4.
Phase
four of finding your half-orange is all about focusing on that dream relationship
and imagining it. This phase is full of tips on how to smile more and visualize
that perfect love. I don’t think I could do this chapter justice in a brief
summary, so I’ll leave you to read it yourself. The last thing Amy suggests,
however, is making a Dream Board to “create a visual reminder of emotional cues
about what you want.” Cut out and paste pictures that show the kind of
relationship you want––a couple holding hands, words like “healthy” or “loving”
to zone in on the type of relationship you really want.
Now
what?
So you finally believe you can
have that ultra-happy, over-the-moon love. You have admitted to the world that
you want it, and you have imagined the type of relationship you want—now what?
Live life, and love it! You can’t just wait around for Mr. Right to show up at
your doorstep! Do what you love, whether that’s traveling, fishing, or cleaning
grease traps in Hamilton. You’ve got to fill your life with all of the
wonderful, positive things that make you you.
Don’t wait around for a guy to
complete you. Do all the things you love and let him come to you. Now that you
are a dating optimist, you don’t have to worry whether he will show up—you know
he will! Live your life to the fullest each day and he will appear.
Meeting
Your Half-Orange
is full of stories that illustrate these principles, as well as research from
psychologists that shows how positive thinking actually brings good things into
our lives. And often, Amy says, those who have applied these principles have
ended up doing new things and discovering new talents. So go pick up Meeting Your Half-Orange and start your
journey to a more hopeful, happy you.
Edson Senna is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about relationships,
health, and finance. In his spare time he learns as much as he can about home
maintenance from companies like Pitton Plumbing
and Heating Inc.
He also enjoys running, biking, and reading.
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